My Pen says..

I was checkin out old letters n greeting cards that my mom had collected over the past 20 odd years today evening..initially i took the bundle in my hands jz to kill time,but each paper i opened transported me in a completely different world..
i chanced upon letters written by my cuzins-who r around my age-as kids.all of them are grown up now,n so m i,busy in our own little worlds,each wid our sets of deadlines to meet,tests to pass, n worries to worry about..each snugly on his (her) own in a different corner of the world..n all these letters contained these lines for sure-"v r missing u a lot here.come to our place in the vacations."
its not as much about these statements made and not as much about the absence felt..its a lot more about the feelings professed n the warmth of the heart expressed..
as technology grows upon u and me(even i m writing this blog on the net,remember?), its not like the new n busy world has taken its toll on our relationships..bcoz i m still as much in touch with each n every one of those cuzins as i ws then..or may b even more, but then that simplicity is missing sumwhere..
the charm of a hand painted card coming by "snail mail" can never b marred by the flash powered interactive animated cards on the net..and neither can the feeling behind those lines ever b emulated...

Death...

WHY????
i ve seen too much of it 4 comfort...n tho they may say it's freedom for the soul..n salvation or moksh...but wot abt the dreams tht shall never b fulfilled?the responsibilties n duties relinquished so abruptly?n most of all wot abt those left behind??

Emotional Sport..or sporting emotions..

football fever is at its peak..with the intensity rising every moment,teams giving everything they have,players putting their futures at stake..n countries comin to a stand-still to watch the world cup.i too ws watchin the matches..the intense quarter finals where teams fought tooth n nail for victory..but as the law of the game goes..someone had to lose..

i watched n rooted for my favourite teams n rejoiced their victories...but then i m too much of a human to ignore the tumultous emotions of grown men...the very same men who were showing all the aggression sumtimes reachin upto d levels of animal instincts crying like little babies whose favourite toys ve been taken away..it ws a stark contrast of human emotions on the field..wid due credit to all the winning teams..my hear goes out to those who lost out..finally its destiny..no one can change that.

well along wid football there's wimbledon too..n i ve made it a point to watch at least the big matches...the other day i ws watching rafael nadal v/s andre agassi...n i ve grown up watchin agassi..n nadal i ve taken a liking 4 him recently.it ws agassi's last wimbledon n sadly he lost this particular third round match.

it ws a match between the rebel and the rebel mellowed down..n both equally mindful of that.the mutual respect shown ws exemplary...

i still remember a young teenaged agassi wid long hair n torn jeans bursting on d world tennis arena..his long earrings n changing hairstyles making as much of a statement as his wonderful strokes on court..today he ws a bald n much sober on wot ws to b his last match playing against a new rebel..nadal in his three-fourths n sleeveless tee..wid a bandana arnd his head and shoulder length hair..it ws as if tennis had come to a full circle 4 agassi...

even tho he lost d match...i m sure everyone watching had jz one thing in mind...the legend lives on...

on modesty..

ok...this one is dedicated to d most precious soul i ve met on this earth...hez d one whoz inspired me 4 dis one...he read my posts on d blog n u kno praised me to i dunno wot extent...well u kno the rational part of me said dat hez praising me bcoz he luvs me...but then again...isnt it all dat v yearn 4?praise 4 our deeds?
its childlike..they say...to show ppl ur creations n expect sum praise in return...but isnt it sumthin dat v all do?even god isnt immune to praise..wot else r prayers then..so wud u say he up there is immodest n thus imperfect?
is modesty really hypocrisy of the human mind??
but then again..i guess modesty isnt all tht much abt nt yearning 4 appreciation..its more abt accepting d praise u get gracefully...n balancing urself to the extent tht u r nt carried away by all dat ppl say..but then its nt abt getting affected at all...bcoz i m sure every human..actually even god..is happy to get praised.
its like u kno..d moment u proclaim u r modest...d modesty is all lost....

idealism or naivette?

my grandfather always used to say ,"always keep 3 things loaded and in handy: a pen to write down ur thots,a camera to capture the beauty around u, and a gun; to shoot wen u see injustice."
hez long gone but these words ve been ingrained in my head.even on his death bed he used to write letters to the government fighting 4 causes which i guess nobody else wud ever have thot of...filing suits against d injustice of the administration...
but he came frm d pre-independence era...d generation inspired by d mahatma..he ws one of those who believed till they were 80..tht he cud change the world...but wot abt us?dont v c d authorities being unfair ever?dont v cum across ne injustice meted out to us?..but v let it b..v say life is unfair..or this is d way d world revolves...n then move on...
so many times have i dreamt of changing d world..making a difference...n so many times have i been told u r too naive..wait till u see d real world n it wil change u.
i agree my dreams seem impossible...but den wsnt martin luther king's dream impossible too?this doesnt mean i m comparing myself to the gr8 soul...nor r my dreams dat big...but is it a crime to dream about changing the place u live in?makin it better 4 u n 4 d others?makin d world a better place to live in 4 d cumin generations...n not allowing them to go thru d same as wot u did?rnt u indebted to ur own life cleanse ur surroundings of all d slush n dirt dat it contains?
i often find myself cribbing..dat life isnt fair to me...but then again...or is it me whoz unfair to life?

Innocence lost..

I often wonder that when people grow up why do they tend to lose all that they had in their childhoods..where does all that innocence go?
I met my nieces recently..adorable kids aged 10 and 6...and once again this thought crossed my mind...kids r so full of love..no prejudices of adulthood,totally oblivious to the complexities that exist in this world.on top of this i read this piece called "all i really need to know i learnt in kindergarten"..and it had a profound impact on me..
why can't the world be a nice place to live in like i remember it back in pre school? why do people lose their ability to cry over hatred n violence? why do people become immune to the sufferings of their fellow human beings? I have seen so many people just walk past an injured or dead being without even as much as a goose bump.i have seen peopl kill each other on issues like religion n the newspapers report it...and we read it with breakfast in the morning without even losing our appetites after looking at gruesome pictures...
its not that i have lived a happy life u know..i have seen enough of hatred to fill some within me too..and I have seen enough of all the seven sins to make me sick of them..but then there's something about kids that i m always attracted to..the pleasures u get u know..like i felt when both the little girls were sleeping each on one hand of mine..n enthralled by d magical powers of something as simple as a fairy tale...i just wonder when will adults realise the importance of such simple pleasures in life?
kids r filled with so much innocence and love and everything nice that God could make...i guess god wanted us all to be that way...but thanks to the sin of the forbidden fruit of adulthood..the paradise is lost.
these little bundles of joy can only see one thing in u...how much love you can give them ...and they have only one thing to give in return..and that is love...like my little niece giving me the first piece of her birthday cake and then running away without giving it even to her parents...
i have consciously decided to b a child at heart...love others n they'll love u back...that's the way the world should be...i guess i want to be peter pan.never grow up...